Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
