Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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