Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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