JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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