Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
