A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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