you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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