Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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