Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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