Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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