I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
