Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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