i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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