Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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