i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
