I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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