Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
