We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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