you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
sarcasm needs its own font
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
