She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
