She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
