im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Sorry my hands just texted you
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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