Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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