i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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