mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
