My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
