no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
