you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Sorry about my life...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
