i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
