i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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