I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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