he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
