Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
