Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
