...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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