she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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