arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
