Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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