fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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