I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
