The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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