Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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