Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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