Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize