finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
