We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
