Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
