I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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