I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Little spoons don't ask big questions
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
