In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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