yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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