I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
