just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
