They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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