was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Farmville is her only friend.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
