big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
