Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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