Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My butt remains clenched, sir.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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