my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
