oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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