i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
home. puking in laundry basket.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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