The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
