therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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