My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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