the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
