I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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