i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
