well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
