Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
40s are totally the cure
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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